I know what you’re thinking….
You think that once you lose the weight you’ll finally start living. You’ll look “right”, clothes will look amazing on you, and everything will be good. Life will become sparkly and sunny. You’ll be worthy and good enough. People will treat you better. You’ll be more desirable. You’ll be sooooo healthy. Your body will be insta worthy. Oh, just wait until everyone sees you in fit into your old clothes.
But we both know what’s really happening here. You think about everything that passes your lips. You weigh it out, write it down, and worry about how that ice-cream/chocolate bar/bag of crisps may have ruined the week for you. You weigh yourself all the time, measure your body, and body scan yourself in the mirror every time you go to the loo.
You’re eating a different meal compared to the rest of your family. You keep saying that it’s for your health but you know deep down that it’s not about health but how you want to look – how you want your life to be.
When you were a kid you ate without thinking about your body. Now, look how things have changed. Your thoughts are consumed with how you look and the food you eat. Where’s the space in your thoughts for you?
When you were a child you loved to run and play. Movement was joyful. Now you exercise to burn off/tone/and change your body. Where’s the space for fun?
You’re only half living. You haven’t just lost weight, you’ve lost parts of you.
I know exactly what you are thinking and feeling because I’ve been there. I was once that person who tracked everything I ate, weighed myself religiously and I hand on my heart believed that life would be so much better if I was thin.
I lost the weight. I achieved my “goals”. Guess what… It didn’t change how I felt. I won’t lie, I did for a moment consider that maybe I just needed to lose some more weight and THEN I would feel amazing but thankfully I woke up. I picked myself up, I forgave myself and started to accept and love my body. I stopped weighing, tracking, or caring. I looked at all the things I had lost and started filling those spaces up again. I gained the weight back, I ate all the food I love without guilt or fear, I started to fill my life with movement I love, and I mended my relationship with myself. Now I look in the mirror and love the person looking back at me. She’s kind, thoughtful, and loving. She is strong and fearless. She’s everything I needed and ever wanted. I’m living the shiny life I always wanted.
If I can do it, then you can do it too. Wherever you are on your journey right now, you are not alone.
If you see yourself in what I have said, reach out, feel free to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org