If you are here then I know that you’ve felt pretty shitty at some point because you compared yourself to another Mum. If yes, then let me tell you this -Comparing yourself is a thief of joy. People have compared themselves to others since the beginning of time, but people are now doing it more than ever (especially Mums). This isn’t your fault, a lot of advertising is designed to make you compare yourself to others, feel like you are lacking, and to buy their product. It’s a load of bullshit! So here are seven techniques you can use so you can stop comparing yourself to others.
1. Unfollow Shitspiration
It’s time for a digital detox! If it makes you feel bad, unfollow it. That celebrity or fitness guru making you feel shit about yourself… unfollow them. That person you went to school who posts body shaming content… unfollow them. That Mum that you can’t stop comparing yourself to… give them the boot! You get the picture here. Just follow content that makes you feel good.
One of the biggest causes of comparison is not having gratitude for yourself, the people in your life, and your current situation. Start a gratitude practice by either writing a list of things you are grateful for or noting three things you are grateful for each day.
3. Check yourself (before you wreck yourself)
Check how you are talking to yourself about yourself. Maybe you say things that aren’t so nice about yourself either out loud or in your head. Either way, you don’t need to be your own biggest critic. Give yourself a break from yourself and get into the habit of giving yourself some loving kindness.
4. Check yourself again
How are you talking about other Mums? Do you tear other people apart for their looks or are you highly critical of celebs? Searching for the flaws in others may make you feel good for a millisecond but long term it can be damaging. Get into the habit of looking for the positives in others rather than the negatives. And rather than judging that other Mum who’s kid is having a meltdown, how about showing her a little support instead?
Start working on accepting who you are and the body you are in. You have one life and you can choose to either accept and befriend yourself or dislike and critic yourself. I don’t know about you, but I know which option sounds better to me.
6. Stop “Shoulding”
If you want to stop comparing yourself to other Mums then you need to get out of the habit of saying “I should do that” or “I should’ve done that”. Either do the thing or stop giving yourself a hard time for things you didn’t do. Statements like that will keep you focused on what you are “lacking” rather than what you currently have. Remember, gratitude is key!
7. Shush your inner critic
There is one person you can compare yourself to and that is yourself. What can you do to improve how you treat yourself, boost your own confidence, or be kinder to yourself than you were yesterday? And finally, instead of blaming yourself for your past “mistakes”, forgive yourself and remember that you are perfectly imperfect.